Debriefing After the New Star Wars

  1. StarWars_ForceAwakensThe new Luke Skywalker is a girl. Way less sulky than the old one though.
  2. The new Han Solo is super young. Too young to have any sort of crush on like I did the old one. I would mention he has nice lips, but it seems age-inappropriate. #Apophasis.
  3. The chemistry between the new girl Luke Skywalker and the new super young Han Solo was pretty cute.
  4. So were the old Han and Chewy.
  5. The new Darth Vader is not a girl, but still kinda effete.

    Left to right: New Han, new Luke, new Darth.
    Left to right: New Han, new Luke, new Darth.
  6. The new R2-D2 is roly poly and cutie patootie and expressive.
  7. Stormtroopers still shoot wide.
  8. Princess Leia’s face is not the same.
  9. She might be a smoker.
  10. The new Emperor Palpatine is Gollum.
  11. A thing happened that made me feel feelings. Even though we knew it was coming, I wasn’t ready. I will, in a meaningful sense, never be ready.
  12. Something else happened that started out seeming kinda sexist and I was imaging how if even I (who wrote all those sexist things above; see 1, 5 and possibly 8) was annoyed, then the shrill legions must be losing their heads. Then it got gratifyingly unsexist.
  13. You know how we’ve been saying “these aren’t the droids you’re looking for” for the last twenty-five years? Well that line has its own new incarnation, and my daughter repeated it twelve times on the way out of the theater.
  14. The family sitting next to us consisted of five members each one decked out in full, top-to-bottom Star Wars character regalia.
  15. The visual effects were pleasing, and the film managed to evoke the originals in style and ambience.
  16. There was a hurdle to overcome in getting the old audience to care about new characters and their relationships without a lot of time spent on back-story and buildup.
  17. I think it worked. It probably did for younger audiences, and I felt like I had gotten there by the end. I wanted more Rey, Finn and Poe and I wanted them all to be together.
  18. Also more Chewy, R2 and BB-8.
  19. I thought the final scene was in Scotland, but it was Ireland and very beautiful.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s